rainy days and mondays

i know i shouldn't publish pictures of other people's kids on the internet, but i figure its ok if i dont name names.

so once when i was younger i ran into this girl who claimed she was a psychic. actually, she didn't claim it, her friend claimed it, while this girl told her friend to shut up. people started to ask this girl questions to see if she was for real. she seemed really not interested in answering anybody, but eventually was convinced to start talking. i don't usually believe in these guys, but the fact that she didn't ask for any money or do any advertising and that she was dead on about the people around her, with specific things, and also that she didn't really seem to want to be doing it, i'm pretty well convinced.


anyways, after establishing her knowledge about the present, people started asking her about the future. some girls were asking her how many kids they were going to have and she was giving them numbers like two, three, you know. so i asked and she said, "a lot....i can't even see how many. a ton."


I was confused because I have never wanted a ton of kids, some, but not a ton. sometimes i think a load of kids would be fun, but most of the time i'd rather keep the family as an intimate party. i always wondered whether, if she was right, it meant i would change my mind someday or something.


anyway, the point of all of this is, my latest theory is that she wasn't talking about my actual children. i started working with little kids three years ago, and this is the first time since then that i haven't been doing that. i think about my kids all. the. time. and being a teacher is sort of motherly, especially when the kids are so tiny. so maybe it just meant that i was going to love a lot of little kids in my life.


anyways, between cranking out the twenty page grad school papers, i think about my tots. you'd think i'd stop missing them some time, but i'm still stuck on the ones i lost three years ago, let alone four months ago.