anna is busy

thank you all for your co-rejoicing at my positive letter. i started my application.

now for a cranky blog.

i am busy. busy busy busy. and i feel totally out of control of my time. somehow this week i have ended up with seven nights in a row of socializing. all of which i would hypothetically enjoy, none of which i can afford (financially or in terms of time) and none of which i seem to be able to get out of without hurting feelings.

im losing my mind.

i am taking twelve credits of grad school classes (that implies 68 hours of work a week apart from time spent in class). i am working two campus jobs (TA and RA). i commute from salt lake to provo (via time sucking bus and trax) six times a week. further, i am preparing for a reading test in december where i have to show a thorough knowledge of 21 books which were assigned to me only last week. further, i need to complete my thesis prospectus, a process of continual revising and re-submitting, all on top of my regular school work. further, i need to cement my knowledge of spanish and learn how to read german so that my phd application will be acceptable. all outside of those original 12 hours.

no matter what im doing, there is always something i am neglecting. while im reading for one class, im trying to figure out how i will ever fit in writing for the next one. saturday nights? proofreading pages and pages of maya (not as fun as it sounds). sunday nights? trying to distinguish whether 'the emancipation of the text from the oral situation entails a veritable upheaval in the realtions between language and world, as well as in the relation between language and the various subjectivities concerned.'

i need to relax. i do this by taking social time. but i am reaching a horrible point where social time makes me feel MORE stressed out. not to mention turning people down and having them get angry with me (its happened) stresses me out still more.

im exhausted. i think drugs might be the answer.